Common Responses

One of the most common responses that a person who sexually abuses a child makes is to lessen his culpability or lessen the impact or seriousness of what he has done. I have read about this tendency several times but I never thought about it as it might apply to me. But, recently, I have re-read my blogs and I can see that no matter what I have said about accepting responsibility, I have also tried to lessen what I did by focusing on what I did not do.

Let me say this: there is NO lessening what I did.

Whether someone touches a child inappropriately through their clothes or whether there is actual intercourse involved, the impact on the victim, society, and even the offender cannot be lessened. And I, who espouse to have learned so much, should not even try.

This is not about the “law”; it is about right and wrong. What I did was wrong, no ifs, ands or buts. And any attempt by me to lessen it only weakens what I hope to accomplish here. It is hard. I want to be honest and forthright, but I also find myself wanting you to like me. I can’t help that. I can only tell you that it is there and ask you to remember in my own thoughts what I did is never lessened.