Triggers

A trigger is a clinical term used by medical and mental health professionals to indicate an event, either biological or behavioral, that predicates or precedes an event. In the case of sexual abuse, triggers are probably always behavioral. In my case, the triggers were pretty obvious now that I know what to look for.

In the first place, we must understand that certain factors such as prior abuse of the person are considered a prevalent factor in sexual abuse. Also access to the child that is or was abused. And then, the trigger. In my case the trigger was many-fold.

• 1) Both times I was in a significant relationship that ended with an emotional break up.
• 2) Both times I had custody of my children.
• 3) Both times events came to such a head that I broke emotionally.
• 4) And, finally, both times my child paid the price.

Understanding this does not absolve me. It only allows me to understand the process that led me to do this. I have been told that I have many psychological problems because of time in the military. I have also been told that I have what is called a borderline personality. And that these two combined problems could also be factors in what I did. Since prior to that, I had not even dreamed of abusing my child. I mean, shoot, prior to my Army time, I had custody of all my children and never ever thought of doing them a wrong. Trigger.

It is very important to understand this phenomenon in order to protect your children. I didn't know. If someone could have explained it to me as some sort of mandatory education, with information on non-judgmental support groups, I feel confident that I would have sought help.